justanexpression | Video 6: Show Me the Way to Go Home (Action for Azalea)

[Jack turns the feed on but doesn’t say anything right away, preoccupied with settling the pokemon he’s surrounded by this time. A Togepi sits in his lap, with a Meowth curled into a ball against his leg on one side, and a Buneary and Smeargle snuggled together on the other. All four of them look positively depressed and Jack, for once, doesn’t seem much better.

Spot the Swablu is on Jack’s shoulder as usual, doing her best to groom him all better and looking somewhat distressed herself that it’s not working.]

So... these guys showed up yesterday. I never actually got to meet them in person before, but the names are all right, and they seem to recognize me...

[The Meowth glances up when he pets her head but then returns to her ball.]

I guess this means they’re both really gone, now? That’s usually what it means when your friends’ pokemon suddenly show up in your computer, right?

[He runs a hand through his hair, accidentally undoing Spot’s work and making her whistle in frustration before pecking his fingers out of the way to start over. It gets him to smile, at least.]

Have you ever been surprised that you ended up missing someone you never thought you would?

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[Sigh. Always with the non-believers. ~~Shuuuuuuuuunnnnn-nuh~~ But what can you do?]

North's elves are way too stupid to manage a union. The yetis might have one, but they never stop working, anyway, so who'd know?

[~~But we're going to candy mountain, Jack!~~ Unfortunately, this is definitely non-believer here, and the doubt in Niou's voice makes that clear.]

Yetis. You're sayin' Santa's got a bunch of worker yetis.

[But Jack seems so... sincere about it. Sincere enough that maybe, just a little, Niou's starting to wonder if he isn't telling the truth.]

—is that really what back home's like for you?

[Of course Jack's sincere. It doesn't stop him from grinning slyly, but he's totally sincere.]

Yeah, a whole... clan? Pack? I don't know, whatever you call a group of yetis.

What? You think I'd make all that up?

Yeah. [Duh. Niou would — has.] Come on, Santa, yetis, the Easter bunny, it's kinda far fetched if you were tryin' to get back at me or whatever.

[If Jack was going to make something up, it'd be a lot better than Santa Claus and yetis.]

Santa, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, and the Sandman, actually. And me. We're Guardians. That's why we're stories, not the other way around. When Bunny and Tooth were here, I coulda introduced you.

Wait, you're saying you're an imaginary fairy that all the good little girls and boys get told about so they don't think the world's such a cold, awful place?

[It's not even all that skeptical, though. He's talked to Yagyuu, and weirder things have apparently happened.]

[...twitch]

One, not a fairy. Really not a fairy.

Two, I'm a winter spirit. Cold is what I do.

But yeah, that's mostly the idea. Fun, wonder, all that stuff. It doesn't always work out, but we try.

Huh.

[Well, time to realign his world view a little, even if he's not entirely sold yet.]

Jack. Winter spirit and all that. So that'd make you... Jack Frost?

[What's this? He's heard of Jack AND he didn't try to say he doesn't exist?!]

At your service.

[Let's just say that after being sucked into video game land, Niou's not ready to rule out a lot of the things he'd have said were impossible back home.

Besides, Jack Frost is supposed to be a trickster. That's the kind of mythological figure Niou can appreciate.]

Jack Frost, really. So that makes the Easter Bunny actually six feet tall. Cool. [He grins.] So did you ever booby trap all those tunnels he use for egg delivering?

[That's Niou, asking the important questions.]

[He does what he can to liven up the boring lives of as many myths as he can, it's true. All in the name of fun.

He frowns a little at the question, Bunny's tunnels being a bit of a sore spot, still.]

I would if I could, but he's got them locked up tighter than Fort Knox against anyone who doesn't have permission. [And Bunny knew Jack WAY too well to give him unsupervised permission.] Did give him a nice Easter Sunday blizzard once. Then spent the next fifty years hiding from him. Did you know rabbits hold grudges?

I was gonna ask just how threatening a bunny could be, but six feet tall... Yeah, I can see how that might be worth laying low for a while.

[His expression might flicker a little — fifty years, exactly how old is this guy he's talking to? Niou'd thought they were the same age — but he doesn't let it show any other way.]

What kinda locks does he have on the tunnels? Are they shaped like little eggs or something?

[Let's just say the thing with Bunny wasn't his first prank, huh?]

Not physical locks. They just... don't exist if he doesn't want you to find them.

[This scowl is still unamused about the bag thing.] If he does want you to, though, they can open up right under your feet. See if he ever apologizes for anything, though.

Oh. Magic.

[And the face Niou makes shows exactly how thrilled he is with that as an explanation. Magic is cheating and not in a way he likes. When he plays a trick, he does all the dirty work, puts in all the effort, knows how and why and what's going to happen with it. Magic's just cheap.]

Hey, if he's got magic, you've gotta have some, too. You're Jack Frost, after all, so what, you can actually call up blizzards? Anything else? THere's gotta be a way you can get back at him.

[Magic is totally NOT cheating. It's a tool. A really awesome, fun tool.]

When I'm not here, yeah. Blizzards, hail, whatever. The best way to get back at him is ruining Easter, though, and I don't wanna do that to the kids. So I drop some snow on him whenever I get a chance and stay out of his way the rest of the time.

[CHEATING]

Have you considered replacing important things he owns with carrots? Sure, it'd take some doing, but no ruining Easter and making little kids cry, and that's gotta piss a six foot bunny off.

[Fine, maybe a LITTLE cheating. But still awesome.]

Or he'd just eat 'em and never notice.

[A lightbulb!]

...What do kangaroos eat?

[Okay, awesome as long as it's the kind of cheating that doesn't get you caught. Who says Niou can't compromise?]

That kind of guy, huh? I've got one of 'em back home, too.

[But a lightbulb from the spirit of frosty winter tricks does promise to be entertaining, so Niou leans forward a little in anticipation.]

Pretty sure they just eat leaves and shit. Why?

[It's still just a fledgling idea, but he'll totally give partial credit to Niou if anything ever comes of it.]

He's a six foot tall rabbit with an Australian accent. So I gave him a nickname. He hates it.

Video 6: Show Me the Way to Go Home (Action for Azalea)

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